


The Creatives Process

by SuccinctlySevered



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Affection disguised as hostility, Ambiguously ironic, Childhood Trauma, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Mutual tsundere, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 12:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21428542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuccinctlySevered/pseuds/SuccinctlySevered
Summary: Dave discusses his childhood with Karkat in a manner you could almost call "sincere". Karkat helps him process some of the trauma as only he can.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 38





	The Creatives Process

CG: SO IF I'M UNDERSTANDING THIS FUCKSHOW CORRECTLY.  
CG: YOU WERE DELIBERATELY TAUGHT WRONG, AS A JOKE?  
TG: i dont even know how you managed to quote a movie you havent seen but yes  
TG: thats a pretty good umbrella term for what happened here  
CG: SO THEN YOU GETTING YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU ON THE ROOFTOP ON A REGULAR BASIS WAS MORE OR LESS INTENTIONALLY ORCHESTRATED?  
TG: no actually he taught me swordfighting more or less correctly  
TG: i think hed have broken some kind of warrior oath if he hadnt  
TG: probably a warrior oath he got from a box of cracker jacks but still  
TG: shits binding yo  
CG: ...  
TG: i mean i still didn't stand a goddamn chance against him but that's mostly just because he was insanely good at it and also like twenty years older  
CG: …  
TG: what  
CG: THAT SOUNDS MORE LIKE HE WANTED A HEEL FOR HIS REGULAR EGO-STROKING EXERCISE  
CG: FAR BE IT FROM FROM MY PLACE TO CAST ASPERSION ON YOUR BRO'S TEACHING CHOPS, BUT CONSIDER: HE FUCKING SUCKED?  
TG: ok yeah fair point  
TG: but its not like there were a ton of other targets for me to practice against like what am i supposed to attack cal like a training dummy  
CG: THAT FUCKING PUPPET THING? YES. ABSOLUTELY.  
TG: no dude you dont understand  
TG: you didnt just...attack cal  
CG: …  
TG: here we go again with the ellipses what does this one mean  
CG: THAT THING IS AN ABOMINATION AND A DISGRACE.  
TG: i know but that wouldve been so fucking gauche dude  
TG: as much as it wouldve made my day to just lay into that fucking thing  
TG: theres some lines you just dont cross  
TG: you just dont  
TG: though actually if im being honest bro wasnt exactly the best at leaving those lines uncrossed either  
CG: I'M NOT SAYING YOUR BRO WAS A COMPLETE SHITSTOOGE, BUT...  
TG: he was a complete shitstooge  
CG: HE WAS A COMPLETE SHITSTOOGE!  
TG: yeah  
CG: GLAD WE'RE ON THE SAME DAMN PAGE.  
TG: its a shitty page but hell if were both not on it  
TG: speaking of shitty pages does tavros still have me blocked  
CG: HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW????  
TG: you shouldnt i just saw the chance for a sick burn and had to go through with it you feel me  
CG: CAN WE FOCUS ON THE MATTER AT HAND, PLEASE?  
CG: NAMELY, THE EXTENSIVELY FUCKED UP NATURE OF YOUR BRO'S SORRY-ASS ATTEMPT AT TAKING CARE OF YOU?  
TG: come on it wasnt that fucked up  
CG: …  
TG: shit  
TG: ok yeah it was fucked up but overall things were fucked up in a mostly benign way  
TG: if you respond with another ellipsis im going to freak  
CG: …  
TG: k im freaking  
TG: here i go  
TG: check out how absolutely bananas shit is right now  
TG: seriously dude youre missing some premium lunatic behavior im dishing out  
TG: these actions im taking irl are so fucking bullshit i cant even describe  
CG: LET ME KNOW WHEN THIS PARTICULAR COPING STRATEGY HAS RUN ITS COURSE SO I CAN START PAYING ATTENTION AGAIN.  
TG: ok sheesh  
TG: fun time is over we can go back to discussing my past and being sad now if thats what you want  
CG: GREAT. FANTASTIC. YOU WERE JUST TELLING ME HOW I WAS RIGHT, AND THAT THINGS WERE FUCKED UP IN A MOSTLY FUCKED UP WAY.  
TG: *sigh* ok im glossing over the obvious argument here which is that benign and fucked up arent mutually exclusive  
TG: because i can see where youre coming from and sure ill admit some of this stuff has affected me in a less than positive way  
CG: HOLY SHIT! YOU DID IT! IT'S A FUCKING MIRACLE!!!!  
CG: I'M GOING TO FETCH GAMZEE SO HE CAN MARVEL AT THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE WONDER THAT IS DAVE MOTHERFUCKING STRIDER ADMITTING TO HAVING PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!  
TG: pls dont get that douche involved im begging you  
TG: have mercy  
CG: HMMM. OK, FINE. IN AN ACT OF UNPARALLELED MAGNANIMITY, I'LL KEEP THAT DOUCHE UNINVOLVED.  
TG: anyway  
TG: this childhood trauma processing shit is tight as hell but if i find out rose is behind this  
TG: im gonna do all the things you were imagining me doing when i said i was freaking but actually do them this time  
TG: just a no holds barred comedy slapstick montage of imaginary stupidity brought to life by yours truly  
CG: ROSE ISN'T INVOLVED AT ALL, WHICH IS A FUCKING SHAME BECAUSE I WAS THOROUGHLY LOOKING FORWARD TO WATCHING YOU FURTHER DEBASE YOURSELF, AND BY PROXY, YOUR SPECIES, WITH ANOTHER BUG EYED SHITFEST EVENT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.  
TG: sorry  
CG: YOU'RE LUCKY I TALK THIS SHIT OUT WITH YOU DESPITE THE UTTER LACK OF HILARIOUS CONSEQUENCES.  
TG: thanks  
TG: its good to know i still have pals who will tolerate my presence even when im not even being the least bit funny  
CG: WHICH IS ALL THE TIME.  
TG: which is all the time  
TG: fuck  
TG: cant you let a guy make self deprecating comments in peace  
CG: "IN PEACE" MEANING, SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY ON THE JPEG ARTIFACTS PILE?  
TG: shit thats not a bad idea actually imma whip one of those up right now  
CG: ONE OF WHAT? JPEG ARTIFACTS?  
TG: no  
TG: a PILE of jpeg artifacts please keep up this was your idea  
CG: OH NO! DON'T YOU DARE!  
CG: THIS IS A STRIDER®️ BRAND IDEA, I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!  
TG: too late your names already on all the official documents and your face is on the logo  
TG: now i just gotta find the least convenient spot to place it  
TG: then climb atop and start crying  
CG: WHAT IF INSTEAD, YOU DIDN'T DO THAT?  
CG: MY NAMES ON ALL THE DOCUMENTS, CAN I VETO IT?  
TG: sorry dude wheels have been put in motion  
CG: LIKE HELL THEY HAVE.  
TG: you know how it is with big business nobody can stop it  
CG: FUCK OFF.  
CG: I'M GONNA STOP YOU **BY FORCE**  
CG: SEE YOU SOON, MOTHERFUCKER!  
TG: wait wait hold on a sec  
CG: ????  
TG: can you grab some pizza on the way over  
TG: im starving and lazy  
TG: y/n?  
TG: ok i guess ill find out when you get here

\-- turntechGodhead ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist --


End file.
